Stress is sooo fun!

Yeah, not.  Ted and I are wondering how in the Hell we are going to come up with money for Christmas...oh! And the money to not get evicted!  Fun, right?!? Ha.      Dip shit stopped paying child support back in June, then our food stamps were cancelled becauase Ted makes too much money (when he gets overtime), then Ted stopped getting overtime.  Sooooo we are out about $500/month at least.  Our rent is behind, our electric is behind, we havent bought christmas gifts yet.... *sigh*  I love when things come together just to mess things up.  I went to the Department of Human Services (DHS) on Thursday to try and get back on food stamps and to try and get emergency assistance. "We'll call you in 7-10 days with an answer" does not help me now.  It drives me nuts that I am so honest to these people...  If I just lied like everyone else I would still be getting $400/month!! But noooo I was honest and it was cut to $200/month.  Then I was honest again and they were stopped.  Lovely.  It's not like Ted and I blow money.  I dont have my nails done... I dont have fancy hair highlights...

bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I guess that is my vent for the year.

::Random Ray of Sunshine::

Soon enough I will be able to get a new phone from Verizon, since my 2 years will be up in Feb.  I am hoping to get an iPhone.  We will see.  Maybe with my christmas money (if I get any).  My Blackberry is driving me insane.  I hate that damn thing.

Weddings and stuff!

Well Ted finally picked a date for our wedding.  July 21st, 2012! 

Naturally, when I said it out loud "7-21-12", he said "OH! 2112! Like the Rush album!"

LOL. My silly man.

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I made a whole chicken the other night for Ted's daughter, Melanie, and her boyfriend Ryan (He's a keeper!).  It was GOOD! Go me!

Speaking of Melanie...  She's my maid of honor (or witness if we just go to J.O.P.)!! How exciting!!

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So Ted and I went to his cousins wedding Saturday night.  What a blast!  It's been far too long since I attended a wedding.  The last wedding I went to was the night before Noah's baptism and I couldn't really drink (Boo!).  But last night...... I drank. And drank... And DRANK.  I started off with good intentions... I had a small glass of white zin.  You can't chug that!  Then I had a Jack & coke... I drank it a little fast, but I wasn't buzzed yet so no biggie.  Then I decide I want something fruity.  So the bartender makes a concoction that probably has a name, though I never asked.  It was cherry vodka, sprite, cherry juice, and a cherry garnish.  WOOOOO those were good!  They were sooo smooth.. maybe a bit too smooth.  Before I knew it I had consumed 5 of them (plus the wine and jack)!  Then everything was in slow motion and I was sitting there staring at one spot lol.  Luckily someone ordered a bunch of pizza.  After two slices of pizza and a glass of water I was feeling fine.

OH! OMG! Having a flip-flop basket for all the women who insist on wearing high heels to a wedding is fucking GENIUS!  My god!  GEEEEENIUS!

Random question:

Why do all weddings have meatballs? lol

(I'm not complaining... I fucking love meatballs.)

::Random Ray of Sunshine::

Noah is back on track with nighttime potty training.  He hasn't wet the bed in I don't even know how long. Yay!  Pooping at night is still an issue though.  But, in my opinion, it's easier cleanup than pee.

And now...... RUSH:

(Yeah yeah, it's not from 2112... but it's my favorite!)

Wow...

When I was about 6-7 weeks pregnant with Clara, I started getting severe morning sickness (and afternoon sickness, evening sickness, midnight sickness, etc).  I was in bed from the end of October until about early-mid December.  It was horrible.  Just the thought of a smell would get me sick. 

Thankfully, I have Ted.  He took over many things. Cooking dinner, cleaning, taking care of Noah, and even grocery shopping. 

Great right? Well... at the time, yes. Now... not so much.  I forgot how to grocery shop!  Before I had Ted do the shopping I was able to keep tabs of how much money I would spend on what was in my cart.  9 times out of 10 I was within $10-$20 of the final total.  But I forgot how to do that! Completely!  I used to go shopping at midnight to avoid the crowds and to avoid having to take Noah because he loves helping.  So when I went shopping on Tuesday, I had Noah with me AND it was about 6pm.  BAD COMBO.

I ended up spending about $100 more than I had wanted.  I kept thinking of things that we were out of (not needed, but we were out of it), and things that I had wanted to get, and oh look! cute little baby jammies!, and planning meals in my head....  I went to the check out and almost pooped my pants! "Ted is gonna beat my ass when I get home" was all I could think during the ride home. 

I get home, and Ted jumps up to unload the groceries while I'm putting things away... just waiting for him to ask how much I had spent.  He's seeing all the meat I had purchased, and the outfit, and the little snacks... he's going to ask me soon... *looks for a place to hide* maybe I can hide in the fridge... He'll never look for me in there!

"So how much did you spend?..." he finally says.  I take a deep breath and begin to explain... "-looks like about hmmmm $237. Right?". 

What the fuck?? How did he know? Where is the receipt? Ok, it's in my pocket... How did he know??

Ted starts laughing hysterically... CLEARLY he sees the 'deer in headlights' look on my face.  "I saw the charge to my card online, dork!".  Dick face... creeped me out. LOL

So, I told him that he needs to go back to doing the shopping because I dont think I can do it lol.  We'll see how that goes.

::Random Ray of Sunshine::

Look how cute those jammies are on Clara!!

And also, Noah and I made little personal pizzas for dinner.  They were simple and delicious!  He was very happy to help me make them!

Time goes by too fast

I got pregnant with Clara back in October...  I went onto you tube looking for videos of people finding out the gender of their baby or announcing their pregnancy to family and friends.  I ended up finding a Vlog that I have watched in it's entirety ever since I discovered it.

I actually began to feel like I knew this family (Not in a creepy way lol).  I basically have watched their youngest son grow up since he was a month old.  I shared their joy with each new milestone they shared online.  Today I watched a video montage of his first year, as his 1st birthday draws near.  I actually felt such happiness while watching the video that I cried.  Their little boy will be a year old.  A YEAR!  As a mom, I know how fast that first year goes by.  It's scary and amazing.  Clara is growing faster than I care to realize.  Soon, I will be wondering where all the time went.

Please enjoy the video of Declan's first year...  Try and tell me that it doesn't make you cry. lol


http://youtu.be/YOhxiObmFHw

::Random Ray of Sunshine::

I wrote this entire blog with ONE  hand!!!  GO ME!!  SUPER MOM!!!  ;)

Perhaps I spoke too soon...

I mentioned in a previous post that Noah was finally going to bed without a diaper on and was doing very well.  Well, since that post he has wet the bed every night.  I don't mind because I am still awake and not doing anything.  What stinks is how much he cries when he does it.  I feel so bad for him.  I can tell that he feels so ashamed of wetting the bed...  He hates it.  I hate that he hates it.  I just finished cleaning up after a bed wetting minutes before I began writing this.  He slept about 5 hours before wetting the bed.  (midnight is the last time I heard him talking in his room).  I am wondering if I should start waking him up to go to the bathroom at night... I am clueless about it. 

I feel bad for it taking so long to get him potty trained... and I wasn't the one to get him started on it.  My mother is.  Thank God for her doing that while I was in the hospital having Clara because I would have had two kids in diapers. Yikes! But Noah never seemed to want to try to do it.  He'd pee in his little potty... but it became more of a way to avoid going to bed by shouting "OH! I think I need to go potty!".  He should have been starting pre-k this year... but with him not being able to poop without freaking out because he had been holding it for so long and now there is a brick in there... it just doesn't seem like a possibility.  He deserves to go to school.  He is so smart and he loves people.  He needs real friends...  No-ee*, Noggy*, Kimbeelee*, and The Ant family* (*-imaginary) aren't enough for him.  I wish I had gotten him to potty train sooner... *sigh*.  But I was so clueless about potty training a boy. 

Speaking of imaginary friends.....  I just went into Noah's room because he was talking too much.  Why?  "There is an imaginary monkey in my room bouncin' all over the place!".  He also says that there is an imaginary door that I had to close, lock, and bring him the key to because "that is where the imaginary animals are coming in from", and then he tells me that he has an imaginary bird in his bed... but it's ok because it's his best friend.  So I did the ol' "spray Windex imaginary animal spray" bit to take care of the monkey and "lock" the door he came from and now all is quiet in his room.

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 So, after being engaged for nearly a year, Ted finally said that late spring-early fall would be good for a wedding.  He has yet to pick a date (I asked him to pick), but I can't complain.  This is great!  Just one month ago when I brought it up he said that he didn't want to rush into things because he's had two unsuccessful marriages (Both of which, he was married within a year of being with them (We've been together for over 3 years)).  I'm excited.  We're not going to have a large wedding, as a matter of fact... I think I'm content with just immediate family at a little chapel with a freaking BBQ somewhere afterwards.  I just want to be married to the man I love. 
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::Random Ray of Sunshine::

My bed is finally clear of laundry!  It's been covered in clean, unfolded clothes since Clara was about a month old.  Ted and I sleep on the couch, so we didn't really see the need to have the bed cleared off.  But now that she is starting to sleep more regularly... perhaps we can relocate.  I miss my bed.  My love seat just isn't cutting it anymore.  I need to stretch!

In honor of Freddie

Tomorrow will be (what would have been) Freddie Mercury's 65th birthday. It fills my heart with sadness that he had to die.  He was 45 when he died...  Ted will be turning 46 in October and I cannot imagine him dying at this age.  It's so young. (Funny how my perspective of "old" has changed through the years).

I remember being young and listening to Queen cassettes with my mom not knowing that Freddie was gone.  I was young and just loved listening to Queen.  I remember listening to Bohemian Rhapsody and having no idea what it was about.  I didn't know about homosexuality or AIDS...  I just knew that Freddie was the greatest artist that has ever lived. 

As I got older, I listened to more and more Queen.  More recently, I watched a documentary of Queen and cried at the end when they talked about Freddie's death.  He died because of something that wasn't even that well known. ( HIV was initially known as GRID which stood for Gay-Related Immune Deficiency. Nice, eh?  Then it was known as The 4H Disease because "it seemed to single out Haitians, Homosexuals, Hemophiliacs and Heroin users"....)

Freddie died from and AIDS related illness the day after he announced that he was ill.  Can you imagine?  Announcing to the world that you are dying... then succumbing to the illness just over 24 hours after?  Scary.

Rest in peace, Freddie.  You are missed by all.

::Random Ray of Sunshine::

Noah has successfully slept through the night without a diaper for the past two nights!!  I am so proud of him!!  It's been a long struggle with getting him potty trained, but he is finally doing it!! The only thing left to work on is wiping- no biggie.

Children's shows are a 50/50 shot.

When I was living with my mother after Noah was born I would watch PBS kids with him.  When Ted and I got an apartment together we couldnt get PBS kids without spending extra money on a bigger cable package.  So we started watching Nick Jr..  Half of these shows are great!  I adore The Fresh Beat Band (except Kiki... I want to stab her in the face), Bubble Guppies, and Backyardigans.  But there are certain shows on this channel that make me want to throw things at my ridiculously priced TV. 

Dino Dan- This show features a boy named Dan.  He loves dinosaurs.  He has a brother named Trek (wierd, I know).  Dan sees dinosaurs all over the place and learns a lot about them throughout each episode.  Great!  I love my son naming dinosaurs that I cant even spell! But what gets me is the hoooooorrible acting.  It is awful! 

Yo Gabba Gabba!- I hate this show.  I think it is so dumb.  The voices are like nails on a chalkboard.  The songs get stuck in my head for days at a time. It is Satan's show... for kids.  Evilllll

Max & Ruby- Where in the hell are the parents???  Why is that little bitch in charge of her brother?  Ruby is such a bitchy little bunny!  They have a grandma... so clearly there HAD to be parents... Has anyone called Childrens Bunny's Protective Services?

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My darling daughter has a favorite parent.  It's not me. It makes me sad... yet happy.  Noah only had me for the first year and a half... his dad was part time.  He never bonded with his dad.  I never got to see Noah interect with the man I loved because that man was non existent. But with Clara, I get to see her smile and laugh at her dad when he gets home from work.  I love that he is the only one who can get her to laugh.  I wish I could too, but I'm happy that she is happy with us both.  I'll get my chance soon enough.
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I've had a horrible headache for the past few days.  The kind that makes your entire head throb if you hold your breathe (ex: picking up Clara).  I've taken my typical headache medicine, but it's not working.  I've tried more caffiene, less caffiene, more sleep, less sleep.... NOTHING IS WORKING!  I assume it's part of my monthly gift for being a woman... and hope it ends with the end of my "gift". 
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I made a rump roast on Tuesday.  It was my first.  I actually did well!!!  I could've taken it out of the oven a little sooner, but it wasn't dry so I was happy.  I also throw some carrots and potatoes in there with it.  Carrots are a rarity for me because Ted and Noah won't eat them.  It was so delicious!  I'm proud of myself and extremely thankful for the internet.  Without it, I never would have tried to make a rump roast without an experienced rump roaster here to help me lol.
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::Random Ray of Sunshine::

Noah I sang Clara to sleep last night and it was the most precious thing I've ever seen! 

So it (re)starts...

I used to blog quite frequently but, since I dont exactly have the fondest things to say 99% of the time, I stopped.  But then I realized that I really don't care (Thank you, CafeMom!).

I suppose I should make a promise to myself right now that no matter how bitchy I get when posting-- I will make it a point to write about something good...
*Puts right hand on mouse* I, Mandi, do swear to put a little ray of sunshine in my darkest of blogs no matter how off topic. Thanks be to jeebus.



Well, now that THAT'S out of the way... lol.
I realized today how amazing it is to have two kids.  I also realized how much I truly despise Noah's dad.  I guess I'm happy that he isn't a part of Noah's life, but at the same time I am sickened by it.  How could someone have a child and never come around to see him?  How could he hand me my 14 month old son after a brief visit and *POOF* never see him again?  Then, at a court date for child support, he didnt even ask about his son... HOW?  Why fight me so hard for visitation only to turn around and stop seeing Noah?  Was it all because your family made you?  Was I wrong to think that you loved your son?

I guess so...

No worries though D***...  your son doesnt know who you are.  You are a stranger.  Ted however, loves Noah.  He has been Noah's REAL father since he was 1 1/2.  I hope you are happy in your new life.  I hope your fiance has no issues with emotional abuse/manipulation.  I hope you aren't surprised when someday you get a letter in the mail telling you that I want your parental rights terminated.  I also hope you go with it so that MY family can be happy. 



::Random Ray of Sunshine::
I made pumpkin bread at 3am and it is sooooooo dense and delicious....